There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
