And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
