3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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