operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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