You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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