is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
