I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
