She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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