Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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