I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
