I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
