Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
worst night to have a conscience
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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