is your mom at the bar?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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