if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
