Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
