ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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