Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
