so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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