i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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