i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
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Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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