you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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