I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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