I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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