so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
