Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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