The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
