Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
