he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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