Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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