I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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