i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
