I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
