i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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