Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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