my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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