I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Dicks are not precious.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
