margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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