Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
