The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
