what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
