You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
