I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
