I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize