im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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