p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i think i have herpe
just one?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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