Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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