Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
