He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize