Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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