So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
