I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
