I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize