So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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