i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
