Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
