Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
