Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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