Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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