I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
