ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
