No awkward lesbian experiences without me
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
They have beer where we have blood.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
