She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
